This week I received a phone call from my family overseas that kept me up all night.
In the silence of the night, I attempted to process the situation with my concerned and fretting mind. I found myself asking: “why on earth does my father continue to do what he does at 80 years of age? It’s dangerous. It’s life-threatening. It’s just not worth dying for.”
As I uttered the words, it dawned on me that maybe it is worth it for him. Perhaps that’s the secret of his determination, enthusiasm and achievement. Maybe he’s willing to die for what he’s doing. That’s passion. Don’t you agree?
For many years I defined passion as the one thing that “I’m dying for”. We’ve all said it on one occasion or another- as kids it may have been a treat, a toy, or a trip somewhere special. As we grow up we may have been dying for our dream course, job, car, house, partner or baby! It may have been a sense of belonging to an esteemed group, the desire for success, or approval from significant others. Whatever! We all know what it feels like to be dying for something so badly. But then once we get hold of it- we’re longing for something else, something more.
Lately, I have begun to perceive passion differently. My passion question changed from: “what am I dying for?” to “what am I willing to die for?” This differentiation seems a matter of semantics- but in my mind it isn’t. These two questions distinctly refer to two extremes. The first speaks of desire, the latter of sacrifice. The first is self-focused, the latter is others-focused. The first asks: “what can I gain?” the latter: “what can I give?” The first determines the life I live now, the latter the legacy I leave behind.
Thriving and passionate relationships are founded on sacrifice. Healthy couples live it out practically. Parents do it intuitively – they are willing to sacrifice their time, wealth and energy to give their children the greatest possible chance at developing, thriving and enjoying their lives.
I am ashamed to say that much of my life was crippled by small thinking. I lived for ‘me’; my achievements, satisfaction, desires, comfort, reputation, and promotion. My family was to support me, my team was to help accomplish my vision, my- my- my! Thankfully, things have changed- dramatically. Surely it wasn’t a sudden nor was it an easy transformation- it has taken years- and it’s certainly not fully realised yet.
I made up my mind that I’d live for something big- bigger than myself. Something worth dying for, something that uplifts, encourages and promotes others to the next level of their development. This is NOT something limited to a career- it’s a lifestyle. It’s accomplished behind the scenes where there’s no external motivation, incentives or applauds.
Admittedly, I still fail to live up to my convictions. I still fall back in the trap of preferring my own interests. I still struggle every time I have to make a decision that’s not aligned to my natural inclinations. But there’s no doubt that I’ve experienced freedom, real joy and incredible satisfaction as a result.
What are you willing to die for?
